Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do you suck men's dicks?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How should you handle a situation where your friend tells you they like someone who also likes you? Should you tell them or continue as normal?

I can count

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why is porn so addictive?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are the cities in England, UK that have trams?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Democrat voters, why are you so naive, easy to manipulate, can't see a liar standing right in front of you and why won't you research your party? You will find they have a plan for all W. Nations and it's evil.

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What do you love to do at night when you’re alone?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I am upper middle class and study at the London School of economics and Finance (economics and Finance). I am 18 years old. What are my chances of becoming a billionaire?

I can read

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

What are your main K-pop groups? (Or groups you listen to)?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write